Thanksgiving is the day I usually dedicate to cleaning and just having me time. I sit and sift through my items on what to donate, what to keep, and what to put away into my memory box.
My memory box is something I’ve had for years and it has progressively filled over time. I found yearbooks, programs from past culture night performances, notes that I’ve passed back and forth with my friends, and birthday cards with special messages, all dating back to high school. This box holds over nine years of memories.
I was sorting my birthday cards from years past and I found one that I have not seen in forever. My heart stopped just seeing it and I couldn’t bring myself to opening it. However, after staring at it for quite some time, I opened it.
It was a pink booklet, with several pages stapled together and my name written all over the front with happy birthday written over and over again.
I flipped to the next couple of highlighter toned pages, and read a few of them.
I started crying.
“You’ve been my best friend since…
God knows when…
We’ve made so much memories together, and I want to continue making memories with you.
Like any strong friendship, there must be drama. Sure we’ve fought and disagreed on certain topics, but those little petty fights only made our friendship
And with every passing day that we spend laughing, smiling, crying, arguing, and living with each other, I could only sense our bond getting stronger and stronger.
You are my best friend and I love you so much.
You were the closest to being a sister to me. You understand me more than anyone. That’s what makes you so special.
So please, promise me ONE thing:
Continue to ALWAYS be my best friend. OK? 🙂 ”
This past Thanksgiving was so different. With 2018 ending, I’m sure I can speak for all of us that it’s different, especially when we lose someone that we love and we remember the last holiday season you greeted them or spent with them.
This specific card made me reflect on everyone I’m thankful for in my past and present. You don’t know what is going to happen to those people in your life at a certain period in time. You believe, in that moment, they’re going to be there forever due to your history, your relationship, everything. That nothing, time and space, can break you apart. Unfortunately, life happens sometimes and it’ll be when you least expect it. Whether it be a breakup, an argument, something you or they said or did, they moved away to a different place, they started a new life elsewhere, an accident, a natural cause, or something permanent occurred.
And it sucks. For me, and again, this is something that is difficult for me to cope with, even today regardless of all the apologies and things forgiven, I messed up. A lot. Although they may have played a role in the separation and they have things to blame for as well, I was a butthead with people that I developed super close relationships with in my past. I said words and I made decisions that still, to this day, I’m still not proud of.
This is hard for me to talk about…I’m going to stop here before I start crying again.
At the end of it all, regardless of everything, I just want them to know at least that I thank them for everything in our past. What has happened in the past is in the past, and it hurts…but that won’t define my future and what I want it to be. I’m thankful for my past relationships, for teaching me the lessons that I carry with me today and into the future with my present and future relationships. I thank them for making me the human I am today. I want them to know that I love them so much, and no matter where they are or what our relationship looks like now, I’ll always be here for them, best friend or not, and I wish them well.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone from my past and in my present.
I love you, and hope to see you soon.